For the past six months or so, I've really been trying to work on myself. Trying to get healthier physically, mentally, emotionally. It's a continual journey that has its ups and downs and it's dang hard sometimes not to want to just give up and go back to the numbness. But every time I get discouraged, I try to look back on the times I kept myself open and remember the blessings that were sent my way. I try to remember the times I wrote about my struggles or talked about it with someone and discovered that I wasn't so alone after all.
I'm learning more every day that happiness does come from within and that other people can bring you joy and happiness and encouragement, but that I must work on my own emotions and really dig deep and feel those feelings in order to understand and accept them. I also understand now that it's OK to have a bad day or a bad week or even a bad month. To accept those feelings and know that it won't last forever. I'm working on finding tools that help inspire me and bring me peace when I go to that dark place of depression. I'll have to do a blog post someday of websites and people I've found online that inspire me. A lot of times someone will post on Facebook or another social media site something that really resonates with me just when I need it. I know when I stay open that I see the blessings around me. And I realize they were there all along, I just couldn't see them when I was shutting everything out. I thought everything and everyone were moving so far away from me, but in reality I was the one moving away and shutting people out a lot of the time.
I'm always amazed and feel blessed when people pop up at just the right time to provide encouragement or to show me that I'm headed in the right direction. For example, a couple days ago my bf and I were stopped at a rest area and we were outside changing out the fog lights on the truck. (My bf is a truck driver and I'm on the road with him now.) We had shut down for the day because of the weather and it was snowing a lot. My bf was changing out the fog light and I was playing the lovely assistant. A man comes up to the truck and says hi to us. At 1st we were thinking it was just another person asking for money or selling something because that happens fairly often to truck drivers. But he asked for our names and said he wanted to put us on his prayer list. He said he knows that truck drivers don't always get to make it into church, so he goes out into the community to talk to people. He told us he was a soldier (can't remember what branch of the military now). It really was a nice moment. He wasn't pushy or preachy, just simply wanted our first names to write down so he could pray for us. It reminded me that there are still people like that out in the world. People who walk around a rest area in the snow so that they can pray for people.
So even though life isn't always nice and I get frustrated easily, I try to remember moments like that. That even when things seem dark, just believe and put out positive thoughts, and that positive energy will come back to you.
One site I found recently on Facebook has a lot of good inspirational quotes. Sometimes just reading an encouraging quote helps me keep my positive attitude.
Like I said above, I'll try to do a blog post soon of all the websites that have been helpful to me lately.
Have a Happy Monday!